Holly Lee: So Pat, first off, thank you so much for being willing to let me interview you. I pretty much pounced on you as you were walking out the door and asked if you’d consider being one of my interviewees. Just to give a little introduction as to how we know one another and to also give insight into why I asked to interview you, you work as a licensed therapist at Ebenezer Counseling here in town where I’m a receptionist. We’ve worked together for a few years now and you are definitely one of my favorite people to interact with at work. You are a bright source of fun energy and as someone who dearly loves to laugh it’s so fun to get to joke around with you, maybe or maybe not sometimes at someone’s expense. But only ever in love. 

I want to start off with some questions I don’t get the chance to think of in the 30 seconds we see each other between sessions. So because you are the style queen at work my first question is silly but one I’m deeply invested in at this point: Did you ever find a good pair of jeans?

Pat Wade: Honestly, I haven't had time to look. But, I'm hopeful. You are my inspiration! I'd like to add that I'm honored you would ask to interview me. I am a big fan of yours!

HL: Oh my. You’re so nice. Thank you. Now I want to know, who are some people you draw inspiration from in your life? It could be someone you actually know or someone you admire from afar.

PW:  Definitely my daughters! They are so unique  and individual from one another, and all three possess strengths I admire and want to emulate. I hope to grow up to be just like them! A super close runner up, hands down, is Mother Teresa. She's a rockstar. Her courage to love in the face of such darkness is a quality I've always admired.

HL: I love that answer. And I’ll bet they would say the same about you. 

So I’m going to transition into the meat of our conversation. I’d love you to explain your background and how it relates to your journey to becoming a therapist.

PW: In my first year of college, I dreamed of being a writer. Disillusioned by my freshman advisor, who told me I would most likely write obituaries for the newspaper with a degree in English Literature, I decided to take a gap year. My mom told me I had to find something productive to do for the year, but I couldn't come up with anything less expensive than traveling abroad (and she wasn't bankrolling my adventure). So, when my best friend told me I should go to beauty school because I had the best hair at senior prom, I thought, why not? My gap year lasted 20+ years.  After a couple of decades working in the salon scene, I decided if I was ever going to finish my degree, it was the proverbial now or never. I returned to college in the spring of the same year my youngest daughter graduated from high school. I finished with a master's degree 6 years later. In the mix of being a mom and working mostly full time, I fell in love with women's ministry in 2001. The next 20 years (books, computer, and online courses in tow for 6 of those years) were spent traveling and teaching at conferences and retreats wherever God would lead me and a small team of women (and a few men) who were just crazy and adventurous enough to follow. In hindsight, my journey was always leading me to become a therapist, more specifically, a therapist for women. First, God lead me through my own journey of healing to ultimately sit in this sacred space with others.

HL: It’s so amazing to get to hear that Pat because it just makes seeing you in your element that much sweeter. I can imagine it feels like quite a weighty position to be in for many reasons. Has there ever been a time when you’ve second guessed your career path or thought about making a change? 

PW: Uh yes, just about every day. Seriously, Every. Single. Day. Imposter syndrome is real.

HL: Praise God I’m not the only one. Haha

How do you think being a therapist has changed how you see others or how you interact with those around you?

PW: I think I've gotten a lot more curious about others, and I would like to think more compassionate, too. I have come to believe people truly do the best they can. I no longer question what's wrong with someone. I think the better question is "What happened to you?"

HL: Wow. Such an incredible perspective. And I can imagine a pretty freeing one as well. I want to know what does a proud or fulfilling moment look like for you as a therapist?

PW: I think some of the most fulfilling moments for me happen when a client learns to let go of self criticism to embrace courage and self compassion. 

HL: How does it feel for you coming home at the end of the workday? Have you ever struggled with balancing your work and personal life?

PW: I am very driven and tend to maximize everything--my time, my schedule, my day, and my week. If I'm not being self aware and reflective, I can easily become a workaholic. I'm not sure balance is the most helpful word for me personally. I much prefer the word rhythm, because rarely does life seem perfectly balanced. I'm working on finding a rhythm to my work and personal life that feels life-giving. It's an ongoing process for sure.

HL: That makes sense! What are some ways you’ve seen yourself grow as you’ve gotten older?

PW: It may sound a little cliche, but I really do believe the older I get the less I know. It's a lot more freeing than it may sound. I don't have to have an answer for everything.

HL: Is there any advice you’d give your younger self that you think other people could identify with?

PW: Yes! Love your thighs and take more risks.

HL: My kind of girl. I’m going to be stealing that one from you. Okay final question: I want to hear what your future dreams are for your career and also for yourself outside of work.

PW: I dream of starting a foundation to provide quality mental health care for all women regardless of their economic status, because everyone deserves access to excellent care. A large part of that work would include education and awareness about the current state of our mental health care crisis. 

Personal dreams? One, I would love to hike the Appalachian Trail. Two, I passionately want to learn to be a beekeeper. Doesn't everyone want to wear that suit? Three, I'm desperate to spend a month in Europe. Four, I simply must return to Georgie Porgie cafe in Melbourne, Australia for the best flat white I've ever had.